How to Streamline Your Wedding Guest List

Free Wedding Guest List Template Included!

Planning a wedding is both exciting AND overwhelming. Looking forward to that special day, when you make the ultimate commitment to your absolute favourite is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Yet before you can walk down the aisle, you have a lot of decisions to make. Where to get married and when, who will make up the wedding party and how much you can afford to spend, are all important considerations.

Luckily, we can help you plan a wedding. As an experienced wedding venue in the heart of Lancashire, we know a thing or two about weddings! Let us guide you through one of the more delicate wedding decisions – how to make a wedding guest list. Deciding who to invite and who to cut can get pretty political.

While not one of the first things you think about after your engagement, it does require forethought and tact.

Your guestlist may dictate your wedding budget, the format of your day, even the wedding date itself. Striking a balance between intimacy and celebration will set the tone for the whole day. Curating a wedding party guest list carefully is an important part of wedding planning, but don’t worry, we’ve got you covered.  

Read on to find out how to formulate a wedding guest list, how to manage guest expectations, and the best tools to help manage wedding RSVPs.

Step 1 - Define Your Wedding Vision

Before you start the important task of adding names to your list, decide what kind of wedding you want. Is your dream wedding a huge affair with lots of people and partying? Or would an intimate wedding be more your vibe?

Have you thought about your wedding venue? Do you want to get married inside or outside? Hotel wedding ceremony or church ceremony? Do you have preferences for specific catering, themes, time of year or entertainment?

Answering these questions helps pin down your wedding vision - how you want your wedding to look. From here you’ll have a better idea of how big your wedding will be, and therefore what size venue you need.  

Step 2 - Set a Realistic Wedding Guest Number (and Stick to It!)

After agreeing on the size and style of your wedding, decide on a wedding venue. This will either dictate your wedding budget, OR vice versa, your wedding budget will dictate the venue.

Booking a wedding venue is the point at which you commit to limiting wedding guest numbers. If you suspect a large wedding is on the cards, look at larger wedding venues with capacity for plenty of wedding guests. Equally, a smaller wedding requires a more intimate setting.

When you have a wedding venue shortlist, book a visit to each. You’ll know soon enough which feels right for your special day. Enlist close family or friends to join your wedding venue consultation, if you’re unsure or need a second opinion. 

After booking your preferred wedding venue you can set a date. The next step is to think about who you’d like to attend. Will you be welcoming couples with children? And if so, are those children all invited? Do you have single friends or family members? Will you invite them to bring a plus one?

Make a first draft of everyone you’d like to invite. Your first attempt may be perfectly proportioned, allowing you to invite everyone you want within your venue capacity and budget. Read more about how much weddings cost here. 

Step 3 - Categorise Your Guest List

Categorising each potential wedding guest based on your relationship to them helps attribute importance to each person. While this may seem cut-throat, you need to establish an order somehow. We suggest using the following tiers.

• Tier 1

Immediate family - mums, dads, step parents, siblings, children and grandparents

Bridal party – best man, maid of honour, groomsmen, bridesmaids

Closest friends – childhood friends, school friends, university friends, work friends, friends from clubs or associations

• Tier 2

Extended family – aunts, uncles, cousins, step siblings, nieces, nephews and partners of these

Close friends – similar to the above but who you see less of

Colleagues – work colleagues from existing jobs, previous jobs and partners of colleagues

• Tier 3

Acquaintances – neighbours, parents of your children’s friends, professional acquaintances

Distant relatives – second, third and cousins once removed, great uncles and aunts, various step uncles, aunts, step grandparents

Plus-ones

Start thinking about your list of wedding guests as soon as you book the venue. Even if the wedding is not for a year or two, this allows plenty of time to send out wedding invites. If people can’t attend, you then have time to invite a backup wedding guest who didn’t get an initial invite.

Step 4 - Manage Guest Expectations

In addition to organising wedding invitees in order of importance, you can also split your list into daytime and nighttime guests. This is a popular way to invite your nearest and dearest to your wedding ceremony, and celebrate with friends and acquaintances that are not as close afterwards.

If there is family pressure to invite a particular guest, here is a great way to manage guest assumptions. Below we have put together suggested wording to include on your wedding invitations. 

1. Option 1 – Honest and friendly

Although we’re keeping our ceremony small, we’d love for you to join us later in the evening to celebrate our marriage.

2. Option 2 – Short and sweet 

 Join us for the evening celebration of our wedding!

3. Option 3 – Informal and light

We’re tying the knot in the afternoon and keeping the party going into the night! Join us for our evening reception from 7pm at [Venue Name]. Music, food, and celebrations await — we look forward to seeing you there!

Another factor to consider is how many guests you want in wedding photos. Inviting your huge extended family could mean more time with the wedding photographer and less time enjoying the celebrations. Let your family and close friends know in advance if they will be required for wedding photos to ensure this part of the day doesn’t go on too long.

Step 5 – Those Who Don’t Make the List

It’s important to remember that this is your wedding! You don’t have to invite anyone you don’t want to. Saying that, there may be expectations from family, friends and colleagues about who you should and shouldn’t invite.

These fall into a few different categories and each one needs delicate handling.

·        People who invited you to their wedding

Just because you were invited to a wedding doesn’t mean you have to reciprocate, if you don’t want to. Keeping your budget and guest list in control, be tactful and pre-empt a conversation by explaining you’re keeping your wedding small, and you’d love to catch up with them for some quality time soon. Pencil in a date after the wedding to show you’re sincere.

·        Children of friends

If you’re inviting children to your wedding, decide if ALL kids of guests are invited, or just those you know. If you don’t want little monsters, screaming babies or moody teenagers at your wedding, specify who exactly is invited on the invite.

Tell guests that you’d love to invite everyone’s children (whether it’s true or not!), but you don’t have space. Make it clear that you’re inviting them to a fantastic night off surrounded by adults, booze and dancing, and you’d love them to join you.

·        Distant relatives

Just because your mum or your nan wants you to invite your second cousin’s ex-husband and their new wife doesn’t mean you have to. Be polite but firm. If they don’t back down and you have space, compromise. Invite them to the evening celebration safe in the knowledge that they probably live too far away to make the journey anyway.

·        People you don’t like

No one can make you spend time with someone you don’t like, especially on your wedding day. It’s a celebration of love and happiness. Keep it simple - don’t invite them. It’s YOUR day.

·        Plus-ones

You can either make it a blanket policy for no plus ones on your guest list for wedding invites, or pick and choose which people you’ll allow to bring a friend. A family member with a new partner may appreciate the chance for you to vet them, or a close friend who doesn’t know anyone else may appreciate backup.

The Benefits of Streamlining Your Guest List

A carefully prepared, well-thought-out guest list saves money, time and stress. You’ll have more budget to spend per person, which may be the difference between your first choice wedding entertainment and your second.

Planning early gives plenty of time to tactfully communicate with your family, friends, colleagues and acquaintances so there are no surprises close to the big day.

You also get those awkward conversations over with in advance, and give people the chance to come to terms with who is and isn’t invited.

Not only will your wedding be a more personal affair, surrounded by people you love and who love you, you’ll have more quality time to spend with them all too.

Digital Tools to Help You Organise Your Guest List

To help plan your wedding guest list, there are a range of tools and apps you can use.

Create a spreadsheet or download a free wedding guest list template. This is a good starting point with columns for names, contact information, invite dates and RSVP status. Below is a wedding guest list template to guide you. 

This wedding guest list sample document will pinpoint which information is most pertinent. 

Alternatively, choose a wedding guest list app that manages wedding guests details, RSVP responses, deadlines and dietary information.

Often these apps will have an online wedding guest list form to fill in that’s saved as a guest information database. You can then export the data to give to your wedding planner, event coordinator or wedding venue.

Check out our blog on wedding websites for more information on which digital tools might work best for you.

Leave Room for Last-Minute Adjustments

Wedding website RSVPify suggests that on average 83% of wedding invitees will accept a wedding invitation. This means that out of a wedding guest list of 100 people, 83 people will RSVP to say they can come. Of the remaining 17%, some will decline, and several may not respond at all! Rude, but true.

While most people will accept your invitation, some might not. Remember to include a deadline for RSVPs on your wedding invite and make a backup list if you have additional spaces once your guests have replied.

Guest List FAQs

Does a wedding guest list include the bride and groom?

Yes and no.

Yes, in that the happy couple will be eating and should be included in the numbers for caterers. However, you probably won’t need wedding favours so you can be excluded on the list for these.

What is the average guest list size for a wedding?

According to a recent study, in 2024, the average number of guests at a wedding was 83-89.

When to finalise a wedding guest list?

Wedding invites should be sent 6-12 months in advance ideally. This gives guests plenty of time to plan. We recommend finalising your guest list 12-18 months before your wedding and sending out invites around 9 months in advance.

This allows for things like new friendships, changing jobs, family feuds, and reconciliations!

Weddings at Springbank Manor

Whether you’re planning a grand celebration or a more intimate affair, weddings at Springbank Manor offer flexible spaces and expert guidance to ensure every guest feels special. 

Our gorgeous hotel wedding venue in Lancashire caters for weddings with 20 guests up to 250. With experienced wedding coordinators ready and waiting to bring your wedding vision to life, our dedicated team will be delighted to show you around.

Get in touch today to arrange a viewing. We look forward to hearing from you!

Weddings at Springbank Manor